Today is just one of those days where I am really struggling with my sins of frustration, resentment, and disappointment. The day started out on a rocky note and immediately my flesh flared up. Without stopping to consider why this day was not going as I had planned, I continued on in blind bitterness playing out conversations in my head with various people with whom I had a bone to pick. Neglecting to reevaluate my focus, I stumbled around muttering along the way wishing things were going differently. But wait, though this day is nowhere close to what I envisioned it would be it is exactly as my Heavenly Father had planned.
The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:9.)This seems to be the current theme for me.
What drives me to be perturbed (I love that word), bitter, and let down? Perhaps it is a pride issue? Do I think of myself as too important to deserve to be treated poorly or to have my day spoiled? Maybe it is unthankfulness in my heart? Do I feel I deserve more than what I have or what is being offered to me? Or possibly it is a lack of forgiveness? Am I expecting others to be perfect in their words and actions? Other than my own, are there additional sin issues in the mix? Do I feel I have been sinned against? What is my issue and am I handling it appropriately (in other words, in a manner that brings God glory)?
Does the cause make a difference really…because no matter what my excuse or justification my sins of annoyance, animosity, and dissatisfaction are still UGLY. They are a huge blemish on my prideful face…a massive, festering cold sore on my lip. (Yeah, I have one healing right now.) Disgusting! How does my aggravation make others feel? Does it exasperate them? Do I hurt them or cause them to stumble?
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. (1 Peter 3:3-4. ESV.)
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." 20 To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:19-21. ESV.)
Boy, this would be so much easier if I had my Heavenly Father and His Son with whom to talk things out.
© 2009 B.T.P.