When I sit and think about my past, my high school years, the college years, and everything in between then and now, I feel great embarrassment at how I behaved and all the foolishness in which I participated. I imagine I will feel that same way (times 1000) when I am standing before God and giving Him an account. I am certain I will want to hide away from Him and beg, “Please pretend you don’t see me right now.”
However, it is a great blessing to my heart that the Holy Spirit has moved me, I have received a new heart, and I have put off my former self and put on the new self (Eph 4:20-24)…so God will see Christ instead of me standing there before Him. Praise God I have been saved by grace!
I envision on the other side of heaven everything will make sense and I will be able to see the full picture. Unlike now as I struggle with my sins of anxiety, fear, discontentment, and rebellion. I question God and His perfect sovereignty…His flawless timing…His righteous orchestration of people and events. Some days I am down right disrespectful as I sneer and shout, “How could you allow THAT person to treat me that way? THAT, THAT scoffer (Proverbs 22:10)! THAT hypocrite! Am I your daughter or what?”
Yeah, UGLY!!!...And probably borderline blasphemous. Boy do I need to repent, spend more time in God’s word, and pray!!!!
Oh what my adoring Heavenly Father must be thinking of me! I picture Him saying, “My dear child, chill out! I’ve got it covered! Just watch and learn.” Or, if you prefer, in a more biblical tone, “Be still and know that I AM God.” (Psalm 46:10. ESV. Emphasis added.)
I am reminded, “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.” (Galatians 6:7-9.)
2 Corinthians 9:6: The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.
Job 4:8: As I have seen, those who plow iniquity and sow trouble reap the same.
Romans 6:21: But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death.
James 3:18: And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
2 Thessalonians 3:13: As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good.
1 Corinthians 15:58: Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.
Hebrews 12:3: Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.
Hebrews 12:5: And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? "My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him.
Hebrews 10:36: For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.
Matthew 10:22: …and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
Thank you, my King…my Father for your steadfast word! I look forward to the day I will hear You say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Today, in my tribulation, I look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God (Heb 12:2).