I once heard someone say, "It's not if we are prideful but rather how we are prideful." (Yet, I do not know from where that quote came. I have tried looking it up a few times.) In other words, everyone struggles with pride in one way or another. Lately, when I have prayed for God to search me and know my heart (Psalm 139:23) the one thing that has been brought to light repeatedly is my lack of humility regarding God's provisions.
Instead of being joyful in what God has been so graciously providing for me through His servants (Psalm 119:91), I have felt bad. You see, I have been listening to myself instead of preaching to myself. My flesh tells me, "I can take care of it. I don't need anyone's help." What an ugly, self centered thought! Instead of accepting blessings gracefully, I have felt sad to "impose" on others. But, what do I expect…for God to reach His mighty hand down and hand things to me directly? Of course not!
Further, if I wanted to bless someone else I would not wish for him or her to reject it. I would desire for the person to allow it and not feel they owed me anything in return. In this season I need to receive with grace. It will be my turn to give to someone else in another season.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. (Colossians 3:16. ESV.)
6Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. (Colossians 4:6. ESV.)