For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. (Romans 12:3. ESV.)
The good Lord has given me much, blessed me abundantly, taught me a lot...and continues to do so. I consider myself very fortunate. Though outsiders looking in might disagree, have their doubts, or speculate the worst. I do not necessarily blame them, I guess. The blots on this area of God's canvas do appear to be disastrous, confusing, and perhaps even unattractive. But my faith does not waiver. My hope is in my God, my strength through Christ, and I know a beautiful work will emerge.
But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. (Romans 14:23. ESV.)
I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20. ESV.)
And in every work that [Hezekiah] began in the service of the house of God, in the law and in the commandment , to seek his God, he did it with all his heart. So he prospered. (2 Chronicles 31:21. NKJV.)
I too want to serve the Lord and "seek" my God with ALL my heart not just a portion. I put a decent amount of time into studying scripture which seems mind boggling to some. "Why not do something more enjoyable?" I've been asked. But to me digging into God's word is exciting, inspiring, interesting, and thrilling like an athlete's participation in a sport, an archeologist's desire for artifacts, a computer guru's fascination with the computer, a paleontologist's passion for prehistoric life, etc.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:21. ESV.)
And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God. (Philippians 1:9-11)
It is a joy for the just to do justice,
But destruction will come to the workers of iniquity. (Proverbs 21:15. NKJV.)
I cannot wait for God's tapestry to be unveiled and available for viewing in all its glory. It will be one thousand times more breath-taking than my limited thoughts can imagine!
He is like a tree planted by water,
that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
for it does not cease to bear fruit. (Jeremiah 17:8. ESV.)