I am currently still waiting on the Lord… awaiting answers and for there to be a forever change (if that is His will).
Anticipating the River Card
It is as though I am sitting at a card table, staring at the hand I have been dealt. I do not necessarily like what I am holding but I trust the Dealer implicitly.
I make small talk with the others at the table. The various players come and go, switching out at (what appears to me as) random. Most of the time those sitting with me are pleasant. Other times though, not so much.
I take two cards from my hand, place them face down against the felt surface and slide them toward the Dealer. He collects them... then gently, yet with great purpose, pulls two from His deck and passes them to me. I pick them up, press my lips together, and give a slight sigh as I add them to my hand. I am displeased but folding is not an option. I'm all in and at this point (as with at other times) the stakes are high.
I glance around and look into the eyes of those seated with me as they assess me. I must maintain my poker face. "You are difficult to read," I have been told a couple times before. But the Dealer knows what I have…as always…and is even wise to what I will do.
I brush my hair from my eyes. It dangles before my face and sways slightly as a draft from the air conditioning vent pushes it softly. My head is tilted down as I study my cards. "What am I supposed to do with this? It is beyond me. I have to wait and hope for the best," I think to myself. It is not yet time for all to be revealed…but, perhaps soon.
Ultimately, I have two options. Give up and leave the table or depend on the Dealer.
Fight or Flight
As with anyone who is relying on the Lord, there are two paths. (Of course the Lord already knows which each individual will follow. God is the Creator and is well aware of how He has designed each vessel.) One is a way of obedience and faith. The other is a moment by moment, take it as it comes, throw caution to the wind, live for the day, and let the chips fall where they may direction. With the first comes an eternity of joy and peace. The second holds only momentary gratification and bliss.
God's word reminds me to live with my eyes fixed on forever with my Lord and King. (Colossians 3:1-17). Further, there is nothing I can do and nowhere I can hide where the Lord will not see or hear me.
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me. (Psalm 139:7-10. ESV.)