By the grace of God I was able to overcome my sin of pride, rebellion, and temptation. Once I was no longer a "slave to my sin" (Romans 6:15-23) I was able to see things clearly. I had behaved inappropriately and hence had been a disgrace to my Father.
Further, being I was made by God to glorify Him (Isaiah 43:7) I fell far from the mark and was setting a terrible example to those around me. There was little to no reflection of Christ in me. Sure God could see my heart but man could not. All they witnessed was what disobedience looked like. Not to mention, the angels grieved because of my transgressions. So, in essence I not only damaged myself on a spiritual level, I did infact hurt others in that sense as well. And, I am STILL reaping the consequences to this day!
(Side note: Regarding angels, Wayne Grudem states,
“…[W]e should be aware that angels are watching our obedience or disobedience to God through the day. Even if we think our sins are done in secret and bring grief to no one else, we should be sobered by the thought that perhaps even hundreds of angels witness our disobedience and are grieved.” (SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY. © 1994. Zondervan. Grand Rapids, MI. pgs.405 & 406.))
God is Just
Yes, God is good! While I was still a sinner (and His enemy if you will) He gave His only begotten Son (Romans 5:8) to reap His wrath to the fullest because of offenses against Him...in which I indulged willy nilly. I am sorry, but I would NEVER give up my son...especially to an “enemy”! So yes, God loves me despite the defiant person I was! But, He is also my King and my Father and there is disciplinary action for treason, disrespect, blatant disregard for laws and rules, conduct unbecoming of a daughter of the King, aiding and abetting the Enemy, etc.
Wayne Grudem states,
"...[T]hough the New Testament clearly recognizes the influence of demonic activity in the world, and even, as we shall see, upon the lives of belivers, its primary focus regarding evangelism and Christian growth is on the choices and actions taken by people themselves (see also Gal. 5:16-26; Eph. 4:1-6:9; Col. 3:1-4:6, et al.) Similarly, this should be the primary focus of our efforts today when we strive to grow in holiness and faith and to overcome the sinful desires and actions that remain in our lives (cf. Rom. 6:1-23) and to overcome the temptations that come against us from an unbelieving world (1 Cor. 10:13)." (SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY. © 1994. Zondervan. Grand Rapids, MI. p.421).
Today, I do as my God requires because I love Him so much! I have repented from dishonorable, disgraceful behavior that did not bring glory to Him. I will NEVER again allow myself to participate in that which is against the scriptures, God's Holy word, no matter who tries to convince me otherwise. Christ Jesus served my sentence and in 2006 God granted me eyes to see and ears to hear. And I have joy and peace far more rewarding than the temporary pleasures my trespasses could EVER produce.
My desire is not to judge just as I do not want to be judged (Matthew 7:12)! I have experienced the strong grip of sin and know what a struggle it is to overcome without Christ Jesus. I pray to be a compassionate, encouraging illustration of a follower of Christ.
The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, 25 nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. (Acts 17:24-25. ESV.)