Thursday, June 16, 2011

O You of Little Faith, Why Did You Doubt?

I had a thought yesterday morning:

If Enoch and Elijah were so close with God they could actually step from this world straight into His presence (without death) then imagine how uncomfortable they must have felt in life (James 4:14).

You know what it feels like when the Holy Spirit within you is offended (or perhaps a righteous anger)!  It is rough, afflictive, awkward, disagreeable, distressing, grievous, hard, thorny, torturing, comfortless, disquieted, ill at ease, restless, stiff, strained, troubled, uneasy, vexed, etc.  Can you fathom a lifetime of that...a wanting to come right out of your skin?

What makes you feel uneasy?  Is it allergies?  Eczema?  Back pain?  Restless legs?  Heartburn?  Migraines?  Fibromyalgia?  Depression?  An Eosinophilic Disorder?  Etc.

21 When Enoch had lived 65 years, he fathered Methuselah. 22 Enoch walked with God after he fathered Methuselah 300 years and had other sons and daughters. 23 Thus all the days of Enoch were 365 years. 24 Enoch walked with God, and he was not, for God took him.  (Genesis 5:21-24. ESV.)

The bible does not mention much about Enoch.  He walked with God...that's about it---but really, what more is there to say?  I cannot help but wonder though what his day to day was like?  His family?  His friends?  His activities?  In 365 years there is not one mention of him being tempted...like David:

Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
 (Psalm 51:11. ESV.)

Lord, I'm Drowning!

I do not feel I know very much about much...certainly not enough to write a book.  I mainly comprehend two things: 1. The Word of God, 2. The events of my life, and how the two collide.

I feel I relate most to the apostle Peter when He saw Jesus walking on water, coming toward the boat in which he was traveling.

25 And in the fourth watch of the night [Jesus] came to them, walking on the sea. 26 But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear. 27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” 28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” 29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”  (Matthew 14:25-31. ESV.)

I call out, "Lord, I want to walk with you!"  But then when things start to get a little hairy and the cyclone of my existence kicks up, I panic, "Save me, Lord, I'm drowning!"  And, of course at once, He reaches out His hand, takes hold of me, and embraces me tightly without letting me go.  It is such a comfort but I receive His rebuke too, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"  At which I am at a loss of words and my heart feels remorse.  Why do I ever question Him and entertain disbelief?
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