Saturday, March 24, 2012

Bullying: Part Six - The Lord is Near to the Brokenhearted

In 80 (eighty) percent of crimes committed, the person targeted knows the offender.

This statistic was brought to my attention by a guest speaker (in a continuing education class I organized and attended) when I was a court appointed child advocate. I am guessing the other 20 (twenty) percent is made up of (though not limited to) crimes involving 1. individuals under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, 2. sociopaths, and perhaps even 3. accidents (involuntary manslaughter cases, etc.).

For me, that is pretty staggering!

I recall seeing a program on television where there was an unsolved murder and the police just could not solve it. Come to find out (only because the attacker finally confessed) the one responsible was the boyfriend of the victim's best friend. He had been a part of the investigation from day one and had even been sitting by his girlfriend during an interview where she stated she was hopeful the murderer would one day come forward!

Not the Average

When authors, speakers, etc. comment, advise, instruct, etc. on relationships, I feel they are referring to "the average" ones and not those including bullies. I say this because books about healthy relationships are good (in my opinion) but may be a little discouraging or even offensive to someone who is bullied regularly. To those individuals I highly recommend the word of God which says to expel the offender if necessary, exercise forgiveness and self control, and BE WISE!

Pastors John Piper and Mark Driscoll, both, have excellent resources touching on forgiveness and submission...what it is and what it is NOT. Below are videos of their messages and links to the written version on each website.

"The Beautiful Faith of Fearless Submission" by John Piper
What Submission Is Not

Here are six things it is not based on 1 Peter 3:1-6.

1. Submission does not mean agreeing with everything your husband says.
2. Submission does not mean leaving your brain or your will at the wedding altar.
3. Submission does not mean avoiding every effort to change a husband.
4. Submission does not mean putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ.
5. Submission does not mean that a wife gets her personal, spiritual strength primarily through her husband.
6. Finally submission does not mean that a wife is to act out of fear.


"Ten Things Forgiveness is Not" by Mark Driscoll
10 Things Forgiveness Is Not

What happens when you’re not the one who sinned but you were the one who was sinned against? What do you do then? In this week's sermon on Luke 11:1-4...
1. Forgiveness is not approving or diminishing sin.
2. Forgiveness is not enabling sin.
3. Forgiveness is not denying a wrongdoing.
4. Forgiveness is not waiting for an apology.
5. Forgiveness is not forgetting.
6. Forgiveness is not ceasing to feel the pain.
7. Forgiveness is not a onetime event.
8. Forgiveness is not neglecting justice.
9. Forgiveness is not trusting.
10. Forgiveness is not reconciliation.

Further, I am going to begin reading through (and blogging about) Lt. Col. Dave Grossman's book ON COMBAT: THE PSYCHOLOGY AND PHYSIOLOGY OF DEADLY CONFLICT IN WAR AND IN PEACE. God created us in His image, for His glory. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. So, what happens to us, physically and mentally, when we are "under fire" whether it is as a police (peace) officer, soldier (peacekeeper), or the target of constant bullying? How can one expect his/her body to respond in the heat of a traumatic event or sustain itself under continuous stress? ON COMBAT (though secular) offers thought provoking answers. God grants us wisdom when we ask for it and "Knowledge is power" against a bully.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
(Psalm 34:18 ESV)
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