The kiddos are feeling the burden of not having my attention as often...of not receiving as much of my time. It is now split between them and school work with substitute teaching on the side. I can barely get us to any extra curricular activities. Thursday and yesterday I filled in for one of the teachers at the school my children attend. The Little Chef commented on how nice it was to have me as an instructor again. They miss that. So do I. But, I firmly believe this is better for them at this juncture. My time with them is limited and they have outgrown homeschool. (Some do. Others don't. Mine did.)
My mind has not been focused. It has been off wandering around the dark woods of contemplation. With words echoing and ideas rolling about. In the forest of thought I walk in circles trying to wrap my head around an idea...to grasp a concept...to embrace a vision. I cannot accept something I do not understand. So it sits there taunting me while I am trying to complete assignments. (Not that it is a huge, life changing thing...there is just something about it I don't get. Maybe I missed something...a piece of the puzzle that will complete the picture.)
Not to mention, I felt exhausted. I slept in this morning then fell asleep again in the afternoon for a quick nap. I took a day of rest. No chores (okay, just light grocery shopping), no school work, no teaching...just parenting (and being a wife). But, tomorrow it is back to work!
I am used to being in God's word everyday. So, when I am not, when I miss a few days or even one here and there, I feel it. I lose focus (and that peace that surpasses all understanding).
Hear this, all peoples!
Give ear, all inhabitants of the world,
both low and high,
rich and poor together!
My mouth shall speak wisdom;
the meditation of my heart shall be understanding.
I will incline my ear to a proverb;
I will solve my riddle to the music of the lyre.
Why should I fear in times of trouble,
when the iniquity of those who cheat me surrounds me,
those who trust in their wealth
and boast of the abundance of their riches?
For he sees that even the wise die;
the fool and the stupid alike must perish
and leave their wealth to others. (Psalm 49:1-6, 10 ESV)