If and when I get the opportunity to speak with someone contemplating divorce I highly recommend against it (unless it is absolutely unavoidable like a high risk situation). I have witnessed collateral damage to be obscene, leveling everyone and everything in its path. And, the scars are deep and lasting. To anyone considering marriage I say to beware! It is a very serious decision not to be made lightly, quickly, in lust, or while "blinded" by love. The consequences of choosing poorly are dire. It is a life choice that cannot be easily undone. Most importantly, follow God's word! Do everything "by the Book"!
Not even as an attorney will I EVER touch a divorce! Not with a ten foot pole! Family court would drive me crazy. My plan is to stick with dependency court, representing children in the foster care system.
Do I "judge" people who are or will be divorced? No, of course not! (I easily could become so, myself.) The person I supported through as much of their divorce as I could withstand described the feeling associated with an ending marriage as "failure". Some, perhaps, give up a little too easily. Others truly fight hard to make their dying marriage work and to resuscitate life back into it. It is my understanding 50% of marriages end in divorce. I do not doubt it for one second! It involves two individuals, sinners if you will, who grow and change regularly, right? I think of how hard it was to live just as a single. I only had to care for, clean up after, provide for myself...and it was a challenge in itself (no matter how big or small). Then add a second person (with a mind of his/her own) maybe challenging the way I live or not. How well does #2 care for, clean up after, provide for him/herself? Are the ways compatible? Not to mention the biggest item of all...FAITH! Are the two who want to become one equally yoked? (If not, don't bother, seriously! This may sound harsh but I am abandoning the "love conquers all" mentality for what I have witnessed time and again to be true. Unequally yoked marriages DO NOT go well, at all!) And, there is a good chance I just lost you as a reader at that.
"For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless." (Malachi 2:16 ESV)
It is my opinion we as believers are God's bride and despite our unfaithfulness to Him, He will NEVER divorce us. Further, our marriages are a likeness, an example, of God's love for us, His bride. God hates divorce. I hate divorce because I have witnessed first hand the wickedness and destruction that comes with it. I have felt its harsh, relentless grip and draining power. With the lingering shadow of that dark place cast near to my feet, I say, consider carefully. Pray for wisdom and clarity. Trust in the Lord and do not lean on your own understanding. Walk in the Spirit with the strength of Jesus.
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11 ESV)
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