It is frustrating…I have so much to do. I do not have the time to not be at 100%. This year is teetering on the edge of overwhelming. I know, God willing, it will all get done, though…every bit of it. I just have to take it one day at a time and set my sights on the task at hand. Today, it is school work (Business Law, Macroeconomics, Introduction to Instructional Technology, and Diverse Learners), the kiddos, and extra-curricular activities. And, my house needs to be cleaned (but that is a never ending feat).
Most likely a big part of my problem is being too BUSY (Being Under Satan’s Yoke). Here is the thing, though. If I am not “busy” I am looked upon, by others, as “lazy”. That is not my interpretation or perception. That is how it is. (I have had individuals make comments to me.) I feel obligated to fill every moment of my day with “stuff” or face the consequences. Why? Because there are those around me who work nearly every minute of the day…at a physical location or checking emails and text messages…bringing in an income, etc. I feel like I have nothing to contribute…no monetary donation. I am a full time student working toward a bachelor’s degree and law school. I do raise my children and train them up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). I work very hard at it and maintaining the home but because it does not pay, it does not count to some. A “real” job, to many, is outside the home and not as a full time student. It is what pays the bills. But here is the thing, also, "bills" do not have to be outrageous! They can be very modest. I like humble. The more stuff there is, the bigger the "bills", and the more hours one has to work. I like less. For me, less is more. Unless it is time with my family...then I cannot get enough!
Once we move out of crazy expensive California, I am hoping for a break in all the “busyness”. Texas moves a little slower and I feel that will be a good change for me and the kids. Of course, I am striving toward law school so a real rest is nowhere on the horizon.
But, I stop in my tracks and am reminded, God did not create me to be “busy” or try to keep up with others…or even to worry about what people think about me. Our purpose is the same but our outlook is different.
We were made to glorify and worship God. THAT is what I should be doing…in everything!
24Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor…. 31So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 32Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, 33just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved. (1 Corinthians 10:24 and 31-33. ESV.)
And, as Pastor John Piper says,
God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.
(By John Piper. ©2014 Desiring God Foundation. Website: desiringGod.org. http://www.desiringgod.org/sermons/god-is-most-glorified-in-us-when-we-are-most-satisfied-in-him#full-video.)
Can you see Christ in me?