Okay, so much for a “light note”, today. When I was in high school, the father of one of my close friends killed her mother. On the 911 call, my friend (or one of her sisters) said, “'My dad's shooting my mom. . . . Please hurry. My dad's shooting my mom. He's shooting her with a gun.'' The parents were locked in their bedroom and two of the daughters tried to get in there while the third was on the phone. Shots were fired and the father left the home. The mother was dead on her bed.
I knew this family! They were our neighbors for years and I had spent a lot of time with them. From the outside they appeared like the average family. The mother was generally home with the children. The father worked in another state but came to be with his family from time to time. The children looked healthy and happy. They never, once mentioned anything to me about the relationship of their parents. Not a single word. Any scars or injuries (physical and/or emotional) were out of sight. Any abuse that may have been occurring in the household was a secret. That is the tricky part for those looking in, you cannot always see the devastation. That is one reason why, I feel, if someone asks for help it is dire they receive it no matter how unnecessary it may seem! “Better safe than sorry,” right? Does anyone really expect an abuser to admit it?!
Before this incident the family had moved out of our neighborhood to a newer one on the other side of town. We still visited, though. Court papers showed the husband to be a “violent” person and that he had “attacked” and “brutalized” his wife on several occasions. She had been seeking the help of authorities for protection.
Occurrences like these are truly heartbreaking to me. They are preventable if only assistance is received when sought. THAT is what makes me sick! And, I guess a little mad. I find myself rolling my eyes when authors write about the average marriage and forget (or fail) to address the potentially life threatening ones. Imagine what it must feel like to fear the very person who vowed to “honor” you! Especially, if it is the husband who is looked to for protection! Do you not see the evil of it! A marriage that has been beautifully created by God yet twisted, distorted, and mutilated. Children desperate for a change. A spouse trying everything in his/her power to make it right… what he/she is told a marriage should be! Can you not see the shame of the afflicted? It is nearly unfathomable to those who have never tasted it…or who have never felt the collateral damage. Perhaps this, in part, is why I was a court appointed child advocate for six years and why I am working hard to become a children’s attorney in dependency court…to guide, encourage, and support oppressed families.
21As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire,
so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.
22 The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels;
they go down into the inner parts of the body.
23 Like the glaze covering an earthen vessel
are fervent lips with an evil heart.
24Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips
and harbors deceit in his heart;
25 when he speaks graciously, believe him not,
for there are seven abominations in his heart;
26though his hatred be covered with deception,
his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.
27 Whoever digs a pit will fall into it,
and a stone will come back on him who starts it rolling.
28A lying tongue hates its victims,
and a flattering mouth works ruin. (Proverbs 26:21-28. ESV.)
16There are six things that the LORD hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
19 a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among brothers.
(Proverbs 6:16-19. ESV.)