I got married, when I was twenty-two years old, to a man who had already been married once before and had two children. Now, I was responsible for doing all of these things for four people. It was very overwhelming, to say the least. To make matters worse to me, hubs had been raised by a woman who kept a pristine home and he was also accustomed to having a wife. I was not used to serving a husband and children. Needless to say, I was pretty bad at it. I had never learned to cook very well, so my meals were mediocre at best. The laundry became out of control and was piled up so high in the laundry room it was nearly impossible to open the door and get in there. I felt outnumbered, unappreciated, and in over my head. I had moved away from my family so there was no one I could look to for assistance or guidance. I just sort of stumbled around in the dark. All the while knowing I was failing miserably at being a Proverbs 31 wife.
Soon our family went from four members to six. Even more mouths to feed and bodies to clothe. Not to mention toys to pick up, dust to wipe away, dirt to sweep, floors to mop, and errands to run. Hubs has always worked long hours so it was usually just me with the kiddos. I worked part time doing this and that…I taught dance classes for a couple years, then ran my own studio for four years, I worked in an office as an administrator for one year and then as a trainer for six months or so, and in a restaurant for a couple years. I think it is fair to say, it was utterly exhausting. I forget about that time in life until someone brings it up. Just recently I was reminded of my crazy laundry pile. When my first biological child was born my family and in-laws came to visit. My beloved dad fixed things around the house that needed mending, my loving mother cleaned my kitchen for me and my devoted brother tackled the massive hill of clothes. He was the king of laundering and I am forever grateful to them for blessing me in such a weighty way. From that day, forward, the mound of soiled underwear, grass stained trousers, and stinky socks never returned.
I am a different person, now. I far exceed what I used to be and wish individuals could forget about the way I once was. It is embarrassing to fall short. Isn’t that how we all feel when we are saved by grace? God makes Himself known to us and the way we used to do things (which makes us cringe just to think about) melts away into who we are as a new creature. Is that not beautiful? Forgiveness is possible. Unfortunately, forgetting is not. No one can wipe their minds clear as if the past did not take place. It is not humanly possible. To say, “It is forgotten,” and for it to actually, physically happen --- to be completely removed --- are not the same. But when God says we are forever transformed by grace alone, that does occur!
17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 18All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17-21. ESV.)