17"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife or his male servant or his female servant or his ox or his donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor." (Exodus 20:17. NASB.)The fact that I am desiring something belonging to my “neighbor” is bothersome to me.
The words of Jim Elliot are playing in my mind,
Wherever you are be all there.This is where I am. I may not like it (in its entirety) but I need to be focused on God. One of my favorite quotes is from Alan Redpath and states,
"There is nothing -- No circumstance, No trouble, No testing that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ. Right through to me if it has come that far. It has come with great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment - but as I refuse to panic, as I lift my eyes up to Him and accept it as come from His throne for some great blessing of purpose of blessing to my heart. No sorrow will disturb me, no trial will ever disarm me, no circumstance will cause me to fret, for I shall rest in the Joy of what my Lord is - that is the rest of Victory." (1 Corinthians 15:57-58)
I need to stop looking at the lives of others and thinking, “He/she has it so good! I want a little bit of that!” Ick, it is awful to say it out loud. In my thoughts I can down play it but out in the open, it is what it truly is…disgusting, ugly sin! How shameful! Please forgive me, Lord! Pastor Sean said on Friday, “If you are doing something that makes you feel guilty then just stop doing it.” Indeed! This stops right here, right now! Do I have any room to complain? NO!
God is sovereign! Wherever He takes me, that is where I am supposed to be in my life. Am I always going to think it is good, and right, and fair? Probably not but I look to Job. He was a “good” God fearing, God honoring man and God allowed satan to test and torment poor Job. (I do not wish to be tortured like Job!) Nor should I taste discontentment. This pity party is over.
2"I know that You can do all things,
And that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted.
3'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?'
Therefore I have declared that which I did not understand,
Things too wonderful for me, which I did not know."
4'Hear, now, and I will speak;
I will ask You, and You instruct me.'
5"I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear;
But now my eye sees You;
6Therefore I retract,
And I repent in dust and ashes."
(Job 42:2-6. NASB.)