Monday, September 08, 2014

She Works with Willing Hands

I feel tired, today, and after a morning of Macroeconomics my brain feels fried. There are days when I do not want to do my school work. The end will justify the means. I feel I am not being a Proverbs 31 wife and mother. By that I mean, I no longer homeschool my children (though I still do stay home with them by doing all of my university classes online instead of sitting in the classroom and by not working outside the home unless I am substitute teaching at the school where my children attend), I am always behind on the laundry and housekeeping, I do not make dinner every night (I only have it ready for my family three nights a week. Someone else picks up three nights and then the seventh is a “free for all”), etc.
10 An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17She dresses herself with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
22She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
(Proverbs 31:10-31. ESV.)

Yes, the heart of my husband can definitely trust in me. I never mean him harm (intentionally try to hurt him). Like I said above, I only make dinner three nights each week. The only time I “rise while it is yet night” is if I cannot sleep or suddenly awake around 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. With the “fruit of my hands” I am studying to have a career once we have an “empty nest”…does that count? I work out so I should be moderately strong. I perceive once I have my law degree my “merchandise” (services) will be profitable. I do need about seven or eight hours of sleep so my lamp does go out at night unless someone needs me (like if one of my children is sick). I do prefer to give to the poor and needy. I do make sure my kids are fed, clothed, have water, and shelter…no matter what! I strive to be wise and teach with kindness…though, admittedly, some days I fall short and become impatient. I most certainly do NOT “eat the bread of idleness”. My calendar is packed…never a dull moment…even with only two young ones left in the home. (The other two have established their own households.) It is my desire to always be all that my children require…even when they are young adults. I love them each dearly and I hope they know that without a single doubt in their minds. Will my works “praise [me] in the gates”? What if I have, in my best efforts at training up my kiddos diligently and being consistent, exasperated one or all of them? What if I am missing the mark while I dedicate time to my studies? Why do I worry so much?!

I guess I have to tell myself what I tell my kids… I can only do my best, because it is the best I can do. And, God only calls me to have faith while He (in all His splendor, majesty, mercy, and grace) takes care of all the rest! How wonderful is that?
1 Give ear to my prayer, O God,
    and hide not yourself from my plea for mercy!
2Attend to me, and answer me;
    I am restless in my complaint and I moan,
3because of the noise of the enemy,
    because of the oppression of the wicked.
For they drop trouble upon me,
    and in anger they bear a grudge against me.

4My heart is in anguish within me;
    the terrors of death have fallen upon me.
5Fear and trembling come upon me,
    and horror overwhelms me.
6And I say, “Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
    I would fly away and be at rest;
7 yes, I would wander far away;
    I would lodge in the wilderness; Selah
8I would hurry to find a shelter
    from the raging wind and tempest.”

9Destroy, O Lord, divide their tongues;
    for I see violence and strife in the city.
10Day and night they go around it
    on its walls,
and iniquity and trouble are within it;
    11ruin is in its midst;
oppression and fraud
    do not depart from its marketplace.

12For it is not an enemy who taunts me—
    then I could bear it;
it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me—
    then I could hide from him.
13 But it is you, a man, my equal,
    my companion, my familiar friend.
14We used to take sweet counsel together;
    within God’s house we walked in the throng.
15Let death steal over them;
    let them go down to Sheol alive;
    for evil is in their dwelling place and in their heart.

16But I call to God,
    and the Lord will save me.
17 Evening and morning and at noon
    I utter my complaint and moan,
    and he hears my voice.
18He redeems my soul in safety
    from the battle that I wage,
    for many are arrayed against me.
19God will give ear and humble them,
    he who is enthroned from of old, Selah
because they do not change
    and do not fear God.

    20My companion stretched out his hand against his
    he violated his covenant.
21His speech was smooth as butter,
    yet war was in his heart;
his words were softer than oil,
    yet they were drawn swords.
22 Cast your burden on the Lord,
    and he will sustain you;
he will never permit
    the righteous to be moved.

23But you, O God, will cast them down
    into the pit of destruction;
men of blood and treachery
    shall not live out half their days.
But I will trust in you.
(Psalm 55. ESV.)

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