Friday, December 26, 2014

Be Gracious to Me, O God, for Man Tramples On Me

I get my heart broken so many times when it comes to this very thing: “Don’t overlook the people who genuinely love and support you, trying to impress the ones who don’t.” I do not understand it. I do not think I ever will! Still, to this day, this happens! And, I tell myself I am a fool for continuously giving my heart to those who do not seem to want it! It is as though I do not exist or have feelings.

But, those days are over! I never thought I would EVER say that…which is actually ridiculous if you know the full story…I should have said it many, many years ago! Yet, here I am, expressing it. “Stick me with a fork, I’m DONE!” After nearly 20 years of serving, unconditional love, forgiveness, heartache, sweat, tears (a multitude of tears), being threatened, yelled at, called unbelievable, despicable names (among “stupid” and profanity), being manipulated, played, taken for every dime, spat on (yes, literally), stolen from, trespassed against, lied about in a court of law (yes, someone perjured themself and was not punished for it…where is the justice?), deceived, conspired against, etc. I am FINALLY setting myself free! I do not feel most (of those who know me) will even notice. And, those that do, I pray might understand. However, I’m sure some will be disappointed. But, I can say without doubt or hesitation, “I tried my absolute best.” And, most importantly, God knows! He was there, every step of the way. He heard my every prayer, kept count of all my sorrows, and put my tears in His bottle (Psalm 56:8). Our moving to Texas is going to be the BEST thing for us, ever! Unfortunately we are leaving behind dear friends but we are also distancing ourselves from the “bad elements” that are tearing us apart.

This Christmas was the final straw, for me. 2015 is going to be a year full of adventures in a new place far from negative, unhealthy, unpleasant relationships! My cup runeth over! Thank you, Lord, for making it possible!

1 Be gracious to me, O God, for man tramples on me;
all day long an attacker oppresses me;
2my enemies trample on me all day long,
for many attack me proudly.
3When I am afraid,
I put my trust in you.
4In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can flesh do to me?
5All day long they injure my cause;
all their thoughts are against me for evil.
6They stir up strife, they lurk;
they watch my steps,
as they have waited for my life.
7For their crime will they escape?
In wrath cast down the peoples, O God!
8You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in your bottle.
Are they not in your book?
9Then my enemies will turn back
in the day when I call.
This I know, that God is for me.
10In God, whose word I praise,
in the LORD, whose word I praise,
11in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can man do to me?
12I must perform my vows to you, O God;
I will render thank offerings to you.
13 For you have delivered my soul from death,
yes, my feet from falling,
that I may walk before God
in the light of life.
(Psalm 56. ESV.)
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