Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Let Your Light Shine Before Others

There is just so much about which I want to write. Do you ever get so many thoughts in your mind there is mass congestion and the ideas are all clogged up, stacked on top of each other? I guess, let me begin with
4 Delight yourself in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
(Psalm 37:4. ESV.)

Born and raised a Florida girl, I set out as a young adult to make a life for myself elsewhere. I ventured to Oklahoma for a year and a half then returned to Florida. Next, while working overseas for nine months, I met an American man, ten years my senior, and followed him to California. We lived in Long Beach for a year, traveled abroad with work for a year, returned to Fairfield, CA for a year, moved to Rio Vista for eleven years, and then Vacaville, CA for two and a half years. All the while pursuing relationships with his children from his first marriage.

Unfortunately, California fell grossly short of the life I was seeking and needed. Hubs had been unhappy at his job for many years. He spoke of being anxious for his older children to graduate high school so we could move to a different state. We discussed Georgia, Kentucky, Texas, and Washington. Although I have some amazing friends in California, the negativity there far outweighed the positive and I prayed earnestly for God to provide the way for us to move to the state of our choice, Texas.

Selfishly, and perhaps pridefully, I feel I deserve this move to Texas. I am almost fearful to admit those words out loud but God knows my heart. I cannot keep anything hidden from Him. Nothing is a secret to Him. I begged and pleaded with Him, through cries so incomprehensible the Holy Spirit had to intercede on my behalf, for this move and I am so insanely, my words cannot express, thankful He has given me the desire of my heart. I am His and He has delivered me. I was in way over my head in California and now I have peace. Tears of heartache have turned into those of joy! Thank you, Lord!

Switching gears, now. I saw a quote by Billy Graham, this past week, which said,
It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, God’s job to judge, and my job to love.
Yes, I know as a believer I am called to go to my brother or sister in Christ when he or she has sinned against me (Matthew 18:15-20) and I am to go out and tell others about Christ Jesus (Matthew 28:16-20), and we in the family of Christ are like iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17). I also know I am instructed to choose my partners in crime carefully (1 Corinthians 15:33), not marry outside the church (2 Corinthians 6:14), and not hang out with those who are “hot tempered” and struggle with anger (Proverbs 22:24-25). Admittedly, I have disobeyed God on some of those and am reaping the consequences. But I also know, I cannot change a person’s heart. No matter how much I beseech, implore, or urge I cannot reveal God and his glory to anyone. I cannot remove the veil and give them eyes to see and ears to hear. I can, however, tell them about Him. I can live my life according to His word. I can endeavor to be a light in darkness (Matthew 5:14-16) but I cannot and am not anyone’s Holy Spirit. Further, trying to be such will only cause strife, heartache, and resentment. I must love and give grace but also stand firm in the word of God. I, personally, cannot be moved.

A storm is rolling in so I had better wrap this up. In conclusion I would like to close with a piece of scripture the pastor touched on this past Sunday.
4For no one works in secret if he seeks to be known openly. If you do these things, show yourself to the world.” (John 7:4. ESV.)
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