Sunday, September 20, 2015

He Will Give You the Desires of Your Heart

Two weeks ago was an exciting day for me and today was the grand finale of a season. I am not sure if I ever adequately relayed my fervent prayers to move, here, and I doubt I successfully explained my situation. I feel that, perhaps, is a post for another day. However, to effectively show you Christ Jesus, God, and the mercy and grace in my debacle of epic proportions, I will give a little bit of background and hopefully not get lost in it.

I moved to California when I was relatively young. Three years out of high school I sought adventure. I worked oversees for nine months and when I returned, I packed all of my stuff, had it shipped west, said goodbye to family and friends, and hopped on a flight. Why is not important. The bottom line is, it was not God’s will and I made a HUGE mess of things. Further, although I met some really wonderful people in California who will always have a special place in my heart, I never should have went there. I can be honest with myself and say that, now.

I tried for seventeen years to make my move to California work out. I really did not have anyone to show me around when I first got there so I made the best of it. I knew a small group of people, with whom I had worked oversees, and met up with them from time to time. But, life is busy. We had to make money to survive the steep cost of living in California so everyone worked quite a bit. I auditioned, since my training was in ballet, tap, jazz, modern/contemporary, and acrobatics, for various theater, theme park, and cruise ship jobs but ended up working days for a real estate organization and evenings in a restaurant. I even did a little “extra” work for television. Those were in Southern California. When I moved to Northern California I did various things like teach dance classes, work in a restaurant, work as an office administrator, and substitute teacher. As I mentioned before, I met some truly great people. But, I also experienced considerable heartache and stress. Great financial stress, a significant car accident, a broken water pipe in my residence, highly negative relationships with a handful of individuals who not only lied, cheated, threatened, and stole from me but also whose words and actions were very toxic and destructive. Eventually, I reached a level of anxiety that resulted in panic attacks, chest pressure, etc.

For twelve years I prayed fervently, many times through tears, begging God to make a way for me to move back toward the east coast and my family. It did not have to be all the way back east, but I asked for at least halfway. June of 2015 my prayers were answered. God in all His amazing grace and mercy, despite my disobedience and foolishness, provided! Yet, that is not the end of the story. I have been able to reconnect with old friends who now live in the great state of Texas, as well. What’s more, the weather has been beautiful, reminds me of where I grew up, and makes me feel at “home”.

Two weeks ago, I turned in my California driver’s license for a new Texas one. It symbolized the end of a turbulent journey and stormy season. Thankfully, I have Jesus in my “boat” and He gives me strength, wisdom, courage, and peace that surpasses all understanding. Perhaps one day, if I meet you in person, I will give you the story in its entirety. For now, it is my heart’s desire to show you God in all of it. That is what is most important anyway, right? Today, I rejoice in closure. I received my official Texas driver’s license and it serves as a reminder to me how God heard and answered my prayer.

4 Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
6 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.
7 Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
(Psalm 37:4-7. ESV.)
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