28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. 30 I and the Father are one. (John 10:28-30. ESV.)
This morning, our oldest sprang forth in my mind as I was driving home from dropping off the younger ones at school. I was beseeching God, in my usual fashion, regarding the salvation of my children and she was foremost in this moment. They rotate around in my thoughts as I implore God at His mercy seat. I bring each of them with me before His throne of grace. And there, in this minute, she was front and center.
Each of my kiddos is uniquely wonderful! All four of them, of course, have their strengths and challenges. Her vulnerability, to the disheartenment of my heart, is her belief in God. Once so on fire for Him, one of His biggest advocates, lover of His word and singing praises to Him, she has given way to doubt and perhaps even anger toward Him. Her proclamation of, “Our God is an awesome God!” has become one of, “There is no God.” And I stand, convicted that I could have/ should have done more or better, humbled before God.
But, I know God is the only one who changes hearts.
26 And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27 And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules. (Ezekiel 36:26-27.)And, the words to the Hillsong ballad "I Stand in Awe of You" play in my mind,
And I stand, I stand in awe of you.And, all I can do is plead harder and thank God for his wisdom, blessings, mercy, and abundant grace!
Holy God to whom all praise is due.
I stand in awe of you.
"Lift Your Head Weary Sinner (Chains)" by Crowder
"I Stand in Awe of You" by Hillsong