Wednesday, December 09, 2015
When the Next Stumble Comes
My dad passed away on December 8th and it is one of those bittersweet memories.
After years of trying to figure out life, he was tired of the fight and committed suicide.
I remember getting the email that something was wrong. I JUST got a job a Sprint and looked like a crazy person sobbing in the middle of the cafeteria floor.
I called the ICU in TN and Sharon, the nurse (ironically my mothers name) told me it would be wise if I got there soon. I was living in CO at the time, so I dropped everything and went to see him....really to see him off.
I take after my dad in soooooo many ways and by no means am I judging his choice. I have his humor but I also have his darkness with depression and former substance abuse.
His death brought me to life. It taught me that I have to fight the battles or the battles will win.
I refuse to be mediocre and even though I can be a hot mess, feel hopeless, doubt myself, sabotage myself and temporarily "throw in the towel".....
I know on the other side of the stumbles, even if I just crawl past them....
Life is awesome and I can be stronger when the next stumble comes.