Monday, July 27, 2015

Guest Post: Live to the Point of Tears

Our feelings and emotions can make us feel like we are riding a roller coaster on some days. Some of us more sensitive folks can feel so many different emotions from day to day. We have really big highs, and we have tough lows. Our feelings can drive us crazy, make a day fall apart or quite possibly give us a heart touching moment or a breathtaking memory that we will never, ever forget. Many people say that we are too sensitive or tell us to toughen up. Understandable. I do like when I can actually roll through days easier and not let situations get to me. I do love when I handle things calmly and move on. I love when I am able to speak without raising my voice and can keep my cool. But, I also love when something really matters so very much to me, that it might bother me more and make me feel overwhelming emotions.

I love that I deeply feel things. I can not imagine not feeling sadness that brings me to tears, or something funny that makes me laugh until I cry. I love that watching my kids play sports brings so much intensity that I feel exhausted, like I was the one that played the game when they are finished. I love that people matter to me, and that I want to experience vulnerability so that I can actually really show up and live. Even though being vulnerable can mean that it hurts sometimes, it can also bring us closer to someone that matters. Sometimes it makes us realize that we might need to establish some boundaries, and that can be good, but also difficult for us sensitive folks that need to toughen up and not feel oh so much at times.

These feelings are passed right down to our little ones as well. This can be tough to watch sometimes and confusing as well. We think they should already understand how to control their feelings, and maybe even not feel so strongly about something. Why do we think that they should understand their feelings already and why do we get uncomfortable when they express them so loudly at times? As always, when something makes me feel uncomfortable, I try to understand why I am feeling this way and how I should handle it to help move through it the best way possible. This can be difficult for me, but I am trying to understand it better, and working hard to help my kids through the process.

Our family motto is that it is absolutely OK to feel the way we feel. We never want to shut down our feelings. It is good for the heart strings to be pulled, but how we react to our feelings is important. It is OK to be frustrated with someone or something. It is OK to feel sad if you feel left out. It is also OK to love, love, love something with all your heart. We just do not need to yell at someone, because we are aggravated. We do not disrespect someone because we are frustrated. We do not act ugly, just because someone was ugly to us. We talk about our feelings. I want my kids to feel comfortable talking about how they feel. So many times, we have learned along the way to not say anything or to keep how we feel to ourselves. Talking about our feelings is healthy. Sometimes we talk to the person we are struggling with, and sometimes we talk out our feelings with someone we trust. Most importantly, all feelings are good and healthy, not just feelings of happiness.

One of my favorite mamas that I follow on Instragram, Tiffany Gray, of The Gray Gang, recently wrote:
Live To The Point Of Tears. Yes! Hell yes! Good tears, bad tears, in-between tears...do not be afraid to feel them all. Every last drop. Because feeling says you care. And when you care, you show up. And there is nothing on this planet that is worth being more present for than Motherhoods sacred stage. It wrecks you raw & glues you back together again in a single swoop.

I just loved this when I read it. Live to the point of tears. Because feeling says you care. I just could not agree more. Absolutely. Every. Single. Day. Let your kids do the same. Help them through what they are feeling, but let them feel. They are passionate, loving, courageous, brave little people that are living life and showing up, just like we should be doing. Showing up, being present, feeling life and caring along the way. I do not think there is a better way to live....to the point of tears. Take it all in...every bit of it, and love who we are through it all. Love ourselves for every bit of what we feel and who we are.

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Today's guest post is by the wonderful Kelley, over at mommyblast.com/.
Thank you so much, Kelley! I am so glad we have reconnected! Best wishes to you, always!

(Photo: FreeImages.com/Torli Roberts)

Wednesday, July 08, 2015

Let the Peace of Christ Rule in Your Heart

As a bit of light, summer reading, I have started He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Ticcillo. It is my understanding it is quite different than the movie. I, personally, have not seen the film so I cannot compare the two.

I can say, this book is not from a biblical background. Yet, it offers one man's insight, and twenty or so other men via polls, regarding relationships and answers to questions posed by women looking for their "Mr. Right". As someone who has failed in many relationships, I find the book to be interesting...and humorous.

It is intriguing in it debunks the many "excuses" men use when they are just not that into a relationship. For example, I do not know how many times I have heard, "Sorry, I don't have time to call you. I am just too busy." According to Greg Behrendt, "busy" is code for a jerk. And, a man who is truly into a woman will see her as a ray of sunlight, a breath of fresh air during his busy day and desire to talk to her.

Switching gears a bit, I get so agitated when people make blanket statements about relationships and/or marriage. For example, I just came across the following quote, "Relationships shatter when when we value perfection over people." Really? I would think "relationships shatter" when one repeatedly, and without remorse, hurts the other. Yes, we are called to forgive but also to be wise. When David found out Saul meant him harm, David did not stick around! He fled for safety. And, God delivered Saul right into the hands of David, twice! David forgave Saul but their relationship was temporarily "shattered" because of what Saul did, not because David "valued perfection over people"! It makes me physically sick!

Abigail's husband was a "badly behaved" man. She went against his wishes and served David's men. The Lord blessed her even though she was "disobedient" to her husband by doing the right thing. I wonder, if there were witnesses or gossipers, how many shook their head and said to themselves, and others, "That Abigail is being unbiblical. She is not respecting her husband's wishes. She is not submitting." Yet, her husband was a "badly behaved" man and died from a heart attack due to his anger and fits of rage. God knew the truth and that is what mattered.

Now, I will admit Hosea's situation was different. His wife was adulterous and a prostitute. God specifically instructed Hosea to love his wife again as God loved the Israelites even though they had other gods (Hosea 3.1). So, it seems to me forgiveness is a constant but sticking around and being considered "unbiblical" or "disobedient" is on a case by case basis. God calls each of us to different lives. No two are the same.


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